Break Point: Skills for Life from the Tennis Court

“The mental side of the game is what makes the difference at the top.”

Ajla Tomljanovic

Break Point, a new documentary on Netflix, takes us inside the lives of tennis players trying to make their way to the top.

Although most of us will never experience this kind of pressure on such a public stage, everyone can relate to:

  • wanting something really badly

  • putting pressure on ourselves to achieve our goals

  • feeling the weight of expectation from our families, work colleagues, or friends and

  • having to deal with the unexpected challenges that life often brings.

As an avid fan of tennis and as a clinical psychologist, the athletic talent and ability on display on the tennis court is absolutely awe-inspiring, but it’s how each individual player expresses the inner workings of his or her mind that is truly fascinating.

Having watched these players live at the Australian Open in Melbourne for 30 years, it is clear that success is not only driven by physical prowess or natural talent. It’s your mindset that sets you apart.

“You’re only good as your mind lets you.”

Paul Annacone, tennis coach

This is true for tennis players and this is true for all of us.

So how do you train your mind to reach peak condition and give yourself the best chance of success at work, at home and everywhere in between?

Here are 10 Tips from the tennis court to get you started.

Top Ten Tips from the Tennis Court

1.     Back yourself. 

Whether you succeed or fail often comes down to your self-belief and how you talk to yourself.

Self-talk is key because your thoughts directly influence how you feel and what you do. It’s really easy to get bogged down with thoughts like: “I suck” or “I can’t cope with making a mistake” or “They are so much better than me”. 

“Don’t tell yourself you can’t. You can.”

Patrick Mouratoglou, Tennis coach

You can tell when a tennis player is beating themselves up on the court through their body language, their facial expressions, and verbal outbursts.

“You must believe in yourself.”

Felix Auger-Aliassime

Even elite tennis players are not immune to imposter syndrome.

“In tennis you lose so much more than you win. But even when you’re a champion…you ask yourself, ‘Am I good enough?.”

Maria Sharapova

Self-defeating thoughts can include beliefs about yourself, such as "I can't do this", and negative and unrealistic perspectives on the situation, including striving for perfection. They can also include thoughts about how you perceive others' expectations or views of you, such as "everybody is counting on me" or "everyone is laughing at me".

“I play my best when I’m locked in. And I have that competitive fire & belief going into a match.”

Ben Shelton

If you want to get to the bottom of your own unhelpful thoughts and beliefs, start by observing your thoughts in high pressure situations. Are you motivating yourself or putting yourself down? Are you miserable on your path to success? Are the people around you miserable?

“Tennis is hard enough…if you got to fight yourself as well, that’s a real battle.”

Jim Courier

Your don’t have to beat yourself up to succeed.

Learn how to both accept and modify your thoughts, adopt a growth mindset, and put yourself in the best position to achieve your goals.

“I can fight through everything.”

Aryna Sabalenka

2.     Cultivate an approach mindset.

Avoidance breeds fear, whereas approaching stressful and challenging situations fosters confidence. So face fear and pressure head-on.

Expose yourself regularly to a variety of anxiety-provoking situations at home, work, and anywhere in between. If it goes well, you gain confidence, and if it doesn’t, you have the opportunity to develop resilience—so it’s a win-win!

“I feel nervous, but I try to be nervous. It’s a good thing. It’s the balance between the fear & the will. If there’s no fear, there’s no will. It’s in those moments you realise how strong you are inside. My biggest weapon is not my serve, it’s not my forehead, it’s my mindset.”

Matteo Berrettini

3.     Regulate your emotions. 

Any emotion, not just the unpleasant ones, can impede your ability to think clearly, make good decisions and perform at your best.

“It’s really critical to manage [your] emotional energy.”

Jim Courier

The same passion that can drive us to success can also lead to high levels of stress and anxiety, loss of focus, and impaired judgment and performance.

The answer is not to ‘get rid of’ your emotions. Instead, you can learn to skillfully channel them toward your goals.

“I play with joy. Therefore I don’t feel that pressure.”

Carlos Alcaraz

Channelled well, your emotions can be like a well-place serve, with momentum and a clear direction, it sets up the next winning shot.

“The passion I have, I have to use it right.”

Holger Rune

One way to channel your emotions effectively is by taking a moment. A micro-break can help you refocus on what is important to get the job done.

Notice how tennis players take a few breaths before serving. Relaxation and breathing techniques can regulate your emotions and ease the tension in your body before, during and after exposure to high-pressure situations.

“Breath control is emotional control.”

Jacey Stacey, Performance Coach

Serena Williams, arguably the greatest tennis player of all time, had to overcome a lot to get to the level of success she achieved.

One of the most challenging moments was early in her career was when she competed in the finals at Indian Wells and the crowd booed her the entire match, some yelling racist remarks directed at her and her family.

She was rattled, as anyone would be, and lost the first set. But during the break between sets, she tuned into herself.

Two minutes of focus to reset her mind.

Just two minutes is all it took to remember who she was and why she was there and what she was capable of.

And the rest is history!

4.     Maintain healthy habits. 

Even if you have the talent, knowledge and ability to deal with the high demands of work, life, or sport, sometimes the pressure can still get to you.

A balanced lifestyle that includes social support, a healthy diet, physical activity, and time to relax, reduces your vulnerability to stress and puts yourself in the best position to have the mental, emotional, and physical strength and energy to cope with challenging situations.

And healthy habits include how you manage time online.

“The golden rule of tennis is to never look at {social media] during a tournament or after a tournament either.”

Naomi, Osaka

Social media is there to enhance your life, not to be your life.

5.     Stay in the present. 

Be in the moment and don't overthink the outcome.

Many tennis players have learned this the hard way.

In Break Point, we saw Aryna Sabalenka inches away from victory, only to be sidetracked by thoughts of becoming number one. Maria Sakkari and Taylor Fritz also voiced similar experiences. The intense desperation to win coupled with thoughts of victory during the match, ironically led to losses.

“My mind sometimes thinks a lot about the finish line, ‘OMG, I’m just two games away. I have to close out the match!’ Staying in the present in the biggest challenge.”

Maria Sakkari

I had the privilege of speaking to Australian tennis great, Pat Rafter, in December 2020, and I asked him what used to go through his mind in high-pressure matches.

He reflected on his Wimbledon loss to Pete Sampras in 2000. He had won the first set and was 4-1 in the second, and in that moment, Rafter thought, “I’m going to win Wimbledon.”

He was no longer in the present moment, and contemplating a possible win sent his body into overdrive. Rafter said that he felt his heart racing, and his game suffered from then on, leading to his loss to Sampras in four sets.

“When you focus on dreams and how much you want it, it’s creating more problems. Focus on the right things.”

Aryna Sabalenka

Mindfulness is a practice that trains you to stay focused in the present moment, ready to return life’s unpredictable shots. And the secret sauce of mindfulness? Adopting a nonjudgmental stance.

Instead of wasting time judging your thoughts,, feelings, mistakes and mishaps, you could be accepting each moment as it comes and effectively letting go of mistakes and setbacks so that you can stay “in the zone.”

“Tennis is as much mental as it is physical. You have to be thinking very clearly on the court.”

Taylor Fritz

Dwelling on past faults or worrying about what might come next, takes your eye off the ball.

Instead, choose to be mindful in the moment to create what athletes call, "flow". It is this state of being wholly absorbed in an activity that achieves optimal performance.

“Tennis players don’t just lose to opponents, they lose to themselves.”

Sakkari’s mother Angeliki Kanellopoulou, former professional tennis player

6.     Develop your ‘go-tos’ for facing pressure situations. 

Tennis players know exactly what they need to do prepare for a big match or to set and reset their frame of mind between points. For instance, they will often have routines or rituals before each service, such as wiping their face, bouncing the ball a certain number of times, or doing a particular movement or gesture.

Nadal is well known for his precise and long-winded pre-serve routine, but the recommendation for most is to keep your ritual simple and practical.

“In sports, things change quick and the only thing I can do is be ready.”

Rafael Nadal

The important thing is to find YOUR go-tos.

Everyone is different and the mindset that may help someone else get ready to face a high-pressure moment, may not be the same at what YOU need.. Lleyton Hewitt famously listened to the song “Eye of the Tiger” to pump himself up before matches, while, Iga Swiatek distracts herself by playing with legos and tries to lesson the importance of a match to keep herself calm, cool and collected.

“In important moments, I’m in my own bubble. I don’t want to be too overwhelmed or too stressed. I’m trying to force my mind to think that it’s nothing special.”

Iga Swiatek

Find your go-tos in 3 steps:

  1. Review and reflect on your experiences in high pressure situations

    Tennis players and all elite athletes always review and evaluate their performance. They study every match to see what worked and what got in the way so they can be more effective in their next match.

    Do you know what throws you off your game?

    Ask yourself what were the conditions, both internally (in your mind and body) and externally (in the environment) when you were successful and when you were not.

    Do you perform best when you’re calm or fired up? Do you get distracted by others? Do your own thoughts sabotage your ability to stay focused?

  2. Build skills

    Whether it’s external noise or internal chatter, do you have strategies to get you back on track?

    It’s time to learn some skills.

    You don’t have to do it alone. Athletes have a team of people around them for support, coaching and conditioning.

    One person is all you need in your corner. This can be a family member, friend, personal trainer, mental health professional, manager or someone else you trust.

    Experiment with different skills and strategies in circumstances where you want to improve your performance.

  3. Evaluate outcomes

    How did it go?

    What worked and what didn’t work?

    Remember, mastering yourself isn’t about being perfect. We’re human, we get distracted, our minds wander, we make mistakes. It’s about accepting imperfection and learning how to respond effectively so you can get back to your game plan.

    Now you can create your own playbook, YOUR go-to list to strategies that work best for YOU.

    Remember, there is only one you. To effectively respond to pressure, put in place what YOU need to succeed.

7.     Create a strong, dedicated & reliable support system.

You don’t get to the top on your own. Tennis players at the top of their game are surrounded by support network—coaches, psychologists, fitness trainers—and they often travel with their family members, partners or friends.

This isn’t just about companionship, it’s a fundamental aspect of their success.

“My team helps me on and off court. Every time that I’m thinking of something negative, I have them. If I’m not having a good day or mentally I’m struggling, they’re there for me.”

Paula Badosa

In fact, the number one factor in the development of resilience is our positive, close relationships.

Why?

  • Humans need to feel bonded to others for both our physical and mental well-being.

  • Knowing that people have your back helps you get through the tough times.

  • Significant and supportive relationships create a positive sense of self and belonginig that fosters optimisim in the face of challenges.

  • Your trusted family, friends and colleagues serve as your role models, helping you learn skills and strategies that help you deal with pressure, expectations, public scrutiny and professional pitfalls. You can watch and learn from both their successes and their mistakes.

“It’s very important to gave a good team around you.”

Holger Rune

In your quest for success, the strength of your relationships is your greatest asset.

Who’s on your team?

8.     Be prepared.

Prepare yourself for success. And prepare yourself for failure.

Athletes succeed by having a clear vision and by executing a strategic plan toward their goals.

This is much easier said that done. It requires dedication, perseverance and consistency.

“Trying to be great is f***ing hard, it’s really tough. But if it was easy, everyone would be doing it.”

Jessica Pegula

Do you know what you need?

Do you know how to get what you need?

Are you willing to put in the work?

Preparation will put you in the best possible position to succeed.

“When I feel the pressure, I just need to have the confidence that I’ve done everything in the lead-up to my match & just trust that when I’m on the court what I do will be enough.”

Taylor Fritz

Prepping for failure is just as important at prepping for success.

You need to expect and accept the down times. If you expect to win at every stage, you’ll be defeated before you even get started.

Victory is sweet, but it’s the lessons learned from the losses that forge your path to the wins.

Embrace a growth mindset knowing that win or lose, you can always step up your game.

“I just want to know that I’m always improving.”

Jessica Pegula


9.    Visualize success. 

Visualizing success by going through the motions in your mind is a powerful and effective tool to prepare elite athletes for their match-ups. This mental practice helps reinforce the neural pathways you need to perform the activity. Visualization also can help you reduce stress, improve focus, regulate your emotions, and build confidence. leading to better performance and increased readiness for high-pressure situations.

“You’ll reach your dream. You just have to believe, and work.”

Aryna Sabalenka

Visualization practice:

  • Sit or lie down in a relaxed position

  • Relax your body by taking a few deep breaths and releasing tension from your toes to your head.

  • Think about a high-pressure situation you want to prepare for and what you want to achieve in this situation.

  • Create a detailed mental image, include all your senses. Picture the environment, the people, what you see, hear, and feel, taste or smell. Incorporate your emotions. visualize how you handle any nerves or stress.

  • Visualize yourself performing each step or action you want to take. Don’t just focus on the outcome, visualize the entire process. See yourself preparing, warming up, and executing each part of your performance or task with precision. Imagine overcoming obstacles or challenges smoothly and confidently.

  • Feel the emotions associated with your success. Imagine the pride, joy, and satisfaction you’ll feel when you achieve your goal.

  • Gradually bring your awareness back to the present moment. Take a few deep breaths, gently open your eyes, and stretch if needed.

There are many ways you can use visualization to improve your performance. You can picture safe and peaceful places to calm your mind and imagine yourself in a powerful state to build confidence and foster inner strength. Find the practices that work best for you.

Practice visualization exercises regularly. The more you practice, the more ingrained these positive mental images and feelings will become.


10.  Ask yourself, “It is worth it?” 

Why are you in this situation?
Is this the path you want to take?
Is this an expression of your values?
Are you passionate about what you do?

The meaning you attach to what you do in your life has a significant impact on how you approach it, and ultimately can be the difference between failure and success.

In Andre Agassi's autobiography Open, he is unequivocal that tennis gave him no joy for the majority of his career. It wasn't until he was able to use his tennis skills to fund his foundation for education that he felt at peace with being a professional tennis player. It was finally worth it. It was "meaning" that led Agassi on the path of great success, both personally and professionally, in the latter part of his career. 

Frances Tiafoe wants to win just as much as any other tennis player. But it means more than that to him. His goal is to inspire young people and bring more diversity to the sport.

Being a great tennis player is not the end-all,  do-all, who you are as a person, what you represent, that’s everything. I want to be a guy who can inspire a lot of people. The ultimate goal is to have a lot of people of color playing the game of tennis.”

Frances Tiafoe

Perhaps the best example of living your purpose is Australian tennis great, Ash Barty. Barty, guided by her mindset coach, Ben Crowe, asked herself three simple questions: “Who am I?”, “What do I want?” and, “How do I get there?”.

The answers led Barty to the top of her game achieving three grand slam titles and reaching number one in the world. She did this with a laser focus on what she wanted and what was in her control. Then Barty, still guided by her own goals and values, made the decision to retire so she could continue to pursue the life she wanted for herself. She is doing life her way.

Meaning and purpose are what get you out of bed, foster passion, and bring about joy and fulfilment. So when you're under pressure or facing challenges on the way to achieving your goals, you know it's worth it.

You get to decide.

Isn’t it time you do life YOUR way?


We all face break points in our lives. How you deal with it is up to you.

Identify what gives you a sense of purpose and seek out opportunities to develop and practice skills that will help you to respond to life’s challenges confidently and effectively.

Now for some tennis!

Article & Photos by:

 Dr. Lillian Nejad
Clinical Psychologist
Aussie Open Super-fan

Skills for Life & Contain Your Brain

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